Once upon a time, there was a young man. In 1972, he fell instantly in love with a beautiful young woman. She was vibrant, sharp, some might even say that she was perfect. They were inseparable for nearly 40 years. But one day the man found that his love had been killed. It was little consolation that the one who took her away from him ultimately went to prison.

The man missed his love very much. He became sad when he thought of the future that he couldn’t share with her. He became very lonely. Some time after her demise, he met a doctor. The doctor said that, although he couldn’t bring the man’s lady back, he might be able to help. The doctor said he would introduce the man to a new woman. This made the man very excited. Although he missed his first love, the idea that he might love again lifted his sadness.

On the day that he met this new woman, he couldn’t stop thinking about feeling the love he felt 40 years ago once again. However, he soon realized that the new woman wasn’t like the first one. This one was not as colorful. She was also very temperamental and unpredictable. She liked to stay in the dark and she hated the cold. This made the man angry. He was expecting someone just like his first love.

Soon though, he started to realize that she was beautiful in her own way. Once the man started to see her for who she was, he started to fall in love again. Soon he was pressing her little button all the time, even though she asked for $2.75 every time he did. Inexplicably, she also asked for an additional $25 because when she was coming she said it was from “Europe.” But whatever–he was getting laid!

Or something like that. You get the idea.